Useful Tips

Christmas and New Years is fast approaching. It is a time when family and friends get together to celebrate and make plans for the upcoming year. Unfortunately, some families are not spending the holidays together as years gone past. For some, they are newly separated and/or divorced and for others, they have adapted to their new family situations. Regardless, all families need to plan for the holidays. Holidays can be stressful in the best of times, so when conflict over who gets the children and when, how will the gifts be chosen and paid for, and how parents come to an agreement about the holidays poses increased anxiety and uncertainty for some. The good news is that families can still enjoy the holidays despite what their new family looks like.  

A common challenge to developing a healthy co-parenting relationship are fears from the primary care giver that the other parent does not 'know enough' about parenting.  It is true that intact families often choose to divide responsibilities, with one parent being responsible for child related duties and the other parent taking care of the finances and household maintenance.  In those cases it is not surprising that there are worries about whether a parent has enough skill to play a shared parenting role after separation. 

A parent's responsibilities to the child survives the end of an adult relationship.  Each parent's responsibilities to the child actually increases after the adult relationship is over.  Parents who are able to put a child's needs ahead of their own emotions will be able to do what it takes to make good parenting continue. 

“Why is mediation a good choice?" Fair question.  People are becoming increasingly interested in looking at mediation as an alternative to the traditional 'duke em out' approach through lawyers.  So they read some websites describing how mediation works, but they still want to know 'why' it is better. 

No one said parenting would be easy, particularly after separation. Communication problems between parents are normal.  Emotions are still running high and all of the changes create added stress.  It is easy to take it out on your ex - especially when he or she might 'deserve it'.  Research tells us that even families considered to be 'high conflict' will calm down and find a better groove within the first year or two after separation.  Until that happens, there are ways you can reduce the conflict and make your life a bit less stressful. 

Don't miss our free public seminar: "Finding the Best Legal Options for Me: from do-it-yourself divorce kits to going to court" presented by Leisa MacIntosh, family lawyer & mediator.  Leisa will explain the different legal options available to separating couples and provide tips on how to choose the right service for you.  Topics covered will include online divorce-kits, family mediation, collaborative divorce and family court.  Leisa will also talk about how and when to include children's voices into the divorce process.  Psychologist Susan Hartley will also be present to provide information to parents about co-parenting and how to protect children from adult conflict and loyalty binds.  Come out and learn about what services and resources are available to Pictou County families going through the separation process.

Top 10 ways to protect your kids from conflict:

Guide to developing a parenting plan and sample parenting schedules have been added to our Resources[sitetree_link id=87] page, check them out!