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blog http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/useful-tips/ How long should my intake / consult be? http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/how-long-should-my-intake-consult-be/ How long should my consult be? Clients ask this question all the time and most receive 'it depends on the issues within your file'. This answer holds true, however; we typically book clients in for 2 hours for an initial consult. This is enough time to discuss the issues, go over your options; and deliver some next steps "homework" for both you and us.
The length of time for a consult depends on many factors, including:
<ul><li>Complexity of the issues</li>
<li>Stage of the file (newly separated vs. court order already in place, transferring your file from another lawyer, etc.)</li>
<li>Children</li>
<li>Assets / debts</li>
<li>Business ownership</li>
<li>Readiness to proceed</li>
<li>New relationships</li>
<li>Custody / access</li>
</ul>This list is not exhaustive, but provides some of the topics that will be discussed at your consult. Block off the appropriate time to meet, ask lots of questions, and be clear when you leave what it is you are responsible to do and what we will be doing. Fri, 18 May 2012 10:18:25 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/how-long-should-my-intake-consult-be/ Information about Mediation http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/information-about-mediation/ Want more information about the mediation process? It is discussed in a Be Smart about Mediation episode with Cara Raich, Deborah Moskovitch and Steve Peck. 
Click here to read the <a href="http://blog.thesmartdivorce.com/2012/05/16/how-to-be-smart-about-mediation/?goback=%2Egde_2155825_member_116071732" target="_blank">blog</a>.
Click here to listen to the <a href="http://www.divorcesourceradio.com/be-smart-about-mediation/ " target="_blank">Be Smart About Mediation </a>episode. Thu, 17 May 2012 09:07:20 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/information-about-mediation/ Collaborative law is growing http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/collaborative-law-is-growing/ Lawyers Weekly speaks to Leisa MacIntosh on the growth of collaborative law: <a href="http://www.lawyersweekly.ca/index.php?section=article&amp;volume=31&amp;number=45&amp;article=4" target="_blank">read article</a> Thu, 03 May 2012 16:16:26 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/collaborative-law-is-growing/ Thinking about life insurance during divorce http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/thinking-about-life-insurance-during-divorce/ An often overlooked issue during divorce negotiations is life insurance. Long term planning for post-divorce life is important, particularly where you may be relying on your spouse to assist financially either through shared parenting or spousal/child support. 
Insurance can be both a risk management tool and a wealth accumulation tool. On the risk management side there are two types of insurance: life and disability. When there are post-divorce financial contributions or obligations, that support stream should be protected in case of death or disability that significantly impacts ability to earn income.
Once you establish that insurance will be maintained, think about:
<ul><li>who will own the policy (ie. will you be the sole owner or will you own it jointly with your former spouse)? </li>
<li>who will be responsible for paying the premiums?</li>
<li>will premiums be included in support payments?</li>
</ul>Permanent life insurance policies owned during the marriage may have a cash value, which should be considered during the settlement negotiations. 
You will also want to evaluate your own medical, disability and life insurance post separation, as well as coverage for any children. Make sure your children don’t end up on the short end of the checkbook if something unexpected happens to you. Consult with an insurance specialist to make sure your needs are being properly address. Be sure to select the right agent by asking some of your trusted friends and advisors for recommendations. Thu, 03 May 2012 11:20:43 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/thinking-about-life-insurance-during-divorce/ Absolute truths about litigation http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/absolute-truths-about-litigation/ I read an article the other day that offered some sage advice to people taking their matrimonial property disputes to court. Straight up:
<ol><li>Our legal system cannot give you more than you had when you entered it.</li>
<li>No matter what you had when you entered the system, you will leave with less.</li>
<li>And this is before the lawyers get paid.</li>
</ol>The article goes on to offer some very practical tips about how to evaluate when are left with no choice but to go to court and how to behave when you get there. Read more at: <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/30/how-to-divorce-how-can-i-_n_1460424.html?ref=topbar" target="_blank">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/30/how-to-divorce-how-can-i-_n_1460424.html?ref=topbar</a> Tue, 01 May 2012 10:10:41 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/absolute-truths-about-litigation/ Supervised Visitation http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/supervised-visitation/ Need more information about supervised visitation. The <a href="http://www.svnetwork.net" target="_blank">Supervised Visitation Network </a>is a great resource for parents and professionals. Thu, 26 Apr 2012 11:52:32 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/supervised-visitation/ Divorce Suport Roundtable http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/divorce-suport-roundtable/ Leisa MacIntosh is happy to be part of the Divorce Support Roundtable at the Propsect Community Centre. Date: June 16, 2012 Time: 9:00 - 10:30 or 10:30 - 12:00 (two identical sessions) Topic: Spiritual/Pyshological; Physical Well-Being; Parenting; Finances; Legal; Real Estate
More details to come! Mon, 23 Apr 2012 16:31:39 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/divorce-suport-roundtable/ How do we tell the children we are getting a divorce? http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/how-do-we-tell-the-children-we-are-getting-a-divorce/ How do we tell the children we are getting a divorce? This is perhaps the most common question coming from parents entering the separation process. My first advice to clients is to be prepared. This may mean reading some books on the subject, talking to a psychologist or counselor, or having a ‘business meeting’ with the other spouse to develop a game plan. The second piece of advice is that each family’s situation will be different and the message needs to be crafted to fit the children and their individual ages, needs and personalities. 
All parents should try their best to avoid the common pitfalls:
• Do not assume that your children understand they are not to blame. Children will often feel that if they acted differently, Mom and Dad might not have fought so much and might still be together. Remind them frequently that they did nothing wrong - especially if they know their parents are arguing about them.
• Do not fight in front of the children. Remember that the crisis and stress of separation and divorce will eventually pass. When the dust settles you will still be a parent with your spouse. Try your best from day one to separate emotional and financial disputes from your parenting relationship with the other parent. The end result will be happier and more stable children.
• Do not blame or speak disrespectfully about your child’s other parent. Speaking negatively about the other parent during any time of the separation process creates pain, guilt and confusion for your child. A child sees the other parent as a reflection of themselves and naturally asks: “If there’s something wrong with Dad/Mom, there must be something wrong with me for loving them.” Harming your child’s relationship with the other parent often ends up hurting your own relationship with that child.
• Do not pressure your child to make choices. Although they may do their best to hide how they are feeling, most children feel torn when asked to choose between their parents. Don’t put them in that position.
• Do not share adult information with your children. Parents sometimes tell the children information they do not need to know to try to bond with the child or to win them over. Sometimes the parent says that they do not want to ‘lie’ to their children. Children do not need to know everything. Sometimes the answer can be as simple as ‘That is an adult issue that you do not need to worry about”. Sharing adult information with children often puts a burden on them, which they end up resenting. Mon, 16 Apr 2012 10:48:24 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/how-do-we-tell-the-children-we-are-getting-a-divorce/ Mediation Helps Avoid Litigation http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/mediation-helps-avoid-litigation/ In a recent report, <a href="http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/mediation-2/">mediation</a>, parent education, and support services have been identified as being able to help people avoid litigation in family files.
Read more at: <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-hughes/how-to-prevent-litigation_b_1355742.html">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-hughes/how-to-prevent-litigation_b_1355742.html</a> Tue, 03 Apr 2012 17:04:15 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/mediation-helps-avoid-litigation/ Free Webinar for Divorcing People http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/free-webinar-for-divorcing-people/ The 5 Critical Risks to Divorce - Part 2
Divorce Magazine, based in Canada, is hosting a free webinar on Tuesday, March 13th, 2012 from 9pm - 9:30pm AST. Just phone in and listen. The guest speaker practices family law in the United States. Click on the link below for more information.
<a href="http://www.divorcemag.com/divorce-seminars.html#5-critical-risks-part-2">http://www.divorcemag.com/divorce-seminars.html#5-critical-risks-part-2</a> Thu, 01 Mar 2012 09:04:05 -0400 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/free-webinar-for-divorcing-people/ What is a Child-Centered Divorce? http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/what-is-a-child-centered-divorce/ Taking a child centered approach to your family’s separation helps alleviate some of the negative consequences that comes with the changes that follow. ‘Child centered’ means that parents use strategies for communication and decision-making that is focused on the best interests of their children. They try their best to block out negative feelings towards an ex-partner (adult issues) and concentrate on how best to transition the children into the new routine. This approach recognizes that although the marital relationship has broken down, the parental relationship continues and that there is value with both parents being actively involved in the children’s lives. This is not always easy. Most couples are separating for various reasons – poor communication being one, but if parents frame their decisions and reactions in a child-centered approach, their way of handling things can improve. Children respond and react to stressful/uncertain situations. Children need to know what is happening to them and how their lives are changing (i.e., living situations, seeing each parent, school, etc.). They don’t need to know all the adult issues, just what is important to their lives. 
 
There are many <a href="http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/resources/" target="_blank">resources</a> to help teach parents these new ways of thinking about their family situation and how best to support their children through all of the big changes to their lives. 
 
You can also <a href="http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/contact-us/" target="_blank">Contact Us</a> to learn more about the services we offer that could be helpful to you and your children. Tue, 10 Jan 2012 13:43:08 -0400 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/what-is-a-child-centered-divorce/ International Child-Centered Divorce Month http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/international-child-centered-divorce-month/ January is divorce season – typically more divorces happen during this month than any other month during the year. There are many resources and organizations that help educate parents on how to use a child-centered approach. One such group is National Child-Centered Divorce Month – which has now gone global and has reframed its focus to international education/resources. This transition is timely – International Child-Centered Divorce Month is teaming up with world wide experts to provide advice and insights on how to best support children during this transition.
 
At the Family Centre, we provide a range of services to help you and your family during your separation and divorce. If you need some initial advice, looking for <a href="http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/mediation-2/" target="_blank">mediation</a> or a <a href="http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/collaborative-practice/" target="_blank">collaborative approach</a>, or would like a <a href="http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/family-court/" target="_blank">lawyer to take on your full file</a>, we can help. We cover a range of topics including child custody and access, spousal support (applications &amp; variations), adoptions (local &amp; international), asset / debt division, and co-habitation / separation agreements. We also work closely with a range of <a href="http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/specialist-advisors/" target="_blank">experts</a> (financial and/or child advisors) that can assist along the way.
 
The Family Centre supports the child-centered approach and looks forward to helping you through your family issues.
 
Please call us at (902) 752-8441 or email <a href="mailto:familycentre@macmacmac.ns.ca">familycentre@macmacmac.ns.ca</a>.
A member of our Family Centre team will contact you within 24 hours of receiving your message. Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:31:31 -0400 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/international-child-centered-divorce-month/ Tis the Season to be Collaborative! How to Prepare for the Holidays http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/tis-the-season-to-be-collaborative-how-to-prepare-for-the-holidays/ Christmas and New Years is fast approaching. It is a time when family and friends get together to celebrate and make plans for the upcoming year. Unfortunately, some families are not spending the holidays together as years gone past. For some, they are newly separated and/or divorced and for others, they have adapted to their new family situations. Regardless, all families need to plan for the holidays. Holidays can be stressful in the best of times, so when conflict over who gets the children and when, how will the gifts be chosen and paid for, and how parents come to an agreement about the holidays poses increased anxiety and uncertainty for some. The good news is that families can still enjoy the holidays despite what their new family looks like. 
As is the case for many families, not one solution will work for everyone. You need to look at your family traditions from the past, think about what is best for your children, and be open to change.
 Emery (2004) offered tips in his book “The Truth about Children and Divorce”:
<ul><li>The holiday season is not all about you</li>
<li>Get into the general spirit of the season</li>
<li>Tell your kids what will happen this year and how it might be different</li>
<li>Plan in advance with extended family</li>
<li>Continue with the old traditions, but start new traditions too</li>
<li>Plan for next year</li>
</ul> Most families who are successful at making the holiday’s positive plan in advance, talk with their ex-partner, and put their children’s needs first.
 
Happy Holidays to you and your families (in all forms) Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:59:22 -0400 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/tis-the-season-to-be-collaborative-how-to-prepare-for-the-holidays/ Interesting Books for those Going Through Separation / Divorce http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/interesting-books-for-those-going-through-separation-divorce/ There are plenty of books about separation and divorce on the market. So how do you pick and choose which ones to read? We have found two books that have been useful in our family law practice. You can find more useful books on our <a href="http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/resources/">Resources</a> page where we have created a 'Reading List' for children, adolescents, and adults. 
Children Come First: Mediation, Not Litigation When Your Marriage Comes to an End (by Howard Irving)
This book provides information on the dangers of an adversarial approach to divorce, the benefits of divorce mediation, and how parents can put children first during and after divorce. Howard Irving works at the University of Toronto, hence the information in his book is applicable to Canada. You can also check out his website at <a href="http://www.howardirving.com">www.howardirving.com</a>
 
How Do I Tell the Kids....about the Divorce? A Create - a - Storybook (TM) Guide to Preparing your Children - with Love! (by Rosalind Sedacca)
With everything going digital - this is a resource that many children appreciate. It is a digital guidebook that creates a personalized family storybook with photos and fill-in-the-blank templates. If you're asking yourself when to break the news to the children, how are you going to tell them, and what to say; then this book may help you along the way. Visit <a href="http://www.childcentereddivorce.com">www.childcentereddivorce.com</a>. Wed, 16 Nov 2011 14:33:27 -0400 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/interesting-books-for-those-going-through-separation-divorce/ Finding the right support http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/finding-the-right-support/ Divorce is one of the most painful experiences of adult life. Most people will experience pain, grief and other strong and uncomfortable emotions following separation. Support from family, friends and co-workers can help ease the difficulties you are going through. It is helpful to recognize the difference between sympathy (‘you poor thing’), empathy (‘I know exactly what you are going through, let me tell you about me’) and acceptance (‘how can I help and support you?’). Sympathy and empathy are like eating a piece of chocolate. They make you feel good for the moment, but the feeling doesn’t last. Friends and family who offer acceptance are more likely to have a positive long term impact on how you are doing. 
You can also support yourself by doing a few simple things. Start by noticing how you are feeling. Don't forget that you might not 'need' anything, beyond accepting that you are feeling - sad, mad, glad, afraid. Can you remind yourself that such feelings are normal? That you'll get through this? If that isn't enough, if the feelings are urging you toward taking actions that you know you will later regret, you may need more support. Search out shared stories of other people’s experiences and what helped them. There are lots of great books, articles and blogs available online. Most people find that even one or two sessions with a psychologist or counselor helps to set them on the right track. Mon, 15 Aug 2011 11:16:16 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/finding-the-right-support/ Ontario leads the way in healthier options for divorcing couples http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/ontario-leads-the-way-in-healthier-options-for-divorcing-couples/ Ontario leads the way with healthier options for divorcing couples:
New rules in Ontario take a progressive step away from Family Court, forcing people to learn about alternatives such as mediation, arbitration and collaborative law. Starting on July 18, 2011, Ontario couples are not allowed to get court time before attending the new information sessions.
The province's attorney general Chris Bentley explained that the rule is intended to help alleviate pressure on the family court system and to help divorcing couples save time and money: “Going to court and having a court battle in family proceedings can be enormously costly, take a lot of time and probably most significantly be very emotionally damaging to children and to the two individuals,” he said. Thu, 21 Jul 2011 15:09:37 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/ontario-leads-the-way-in-healthier-options-for-divorcing-couples/ Harvard Professor supports collaborative practice approach http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/harvard-professor-supports-collaborative-practice-approach/ Harvard law and business professor supports the Collaborative Practice approach:
"I am wholly supportive of Collaborative Practice ...it is textbook interest-based negotiation, a great illustration of what we try to teach our students here at Harvard. Too often people think of collaborative approaches as being soft and concession-oriented, but in fact the research (experimental, theoretical, case study) shows that collaborative approaches are better at 'getting the most marbles' than the traditional adversarial approaches."
Guhan Subramanian, Joseph Flom Professor of Law and Business, Harvard Law School &amp; Douglas Weaver Professor of Business Law, Harvard Business School Wed, 13 Jul 2011 11:06:31 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/harvard-professor-supports-collaborative-practice-approach/ Divorce is bad for business http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/divorce-is-bad-for-business/ Divorce is bad for business. It’s a well known fact. Businesses can suffer significant losses because of divorce litigation. Here are a few reasons why:
<ul><li>Court proceedings risk private affairs and business information from leaking to the public, potentially compromising the business reputation;</li>
<li>the CEO or owner’s focus on the business is distracted by the personal issues;</li>
<li>word of the divorce spreads quickly in the business community, causing concerns and rumors about what might happen to the business;</li>
<li>employees of a small business often worry about their job stability;</li>
<li>significant company time is spent complying with document requests for court;</li>
<li>relationships with bankers and suppliers are impacted; and</li>
<li>competitors seize the opportunity to create a competitive edge.</li>
</ul>No matter how acrimonious the issues are between the spouse and the business owner, damage to the business is good for no one. 
The good news is that ‘collaborative practice’ addresses theses concerns and provides ways to reduce the burden on a business. By choosing a better legal process like collaborative practice, both spouses can find better results. Check out our ‘Collaborative Practice’ page for more information. Fri, 08 Jul 2011 09:33:44 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/divorce-is-bad-for-business/ Top 3 reasons for choosing collaborative divorce http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/top-3-reasons-for-choosing-collaborative-divorce/ Clients tell us that their top three reasons for choosing collaborative divorce over litigation are: 
1. produces a better outcome than litigation;
2. focuses on the most important concerns of the client; and
3. holds greater promise for being a non-confrontational, less adversarial process. Wed, 06 Jul 2011 20:46:31 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/top-3-reasons-for-choosing-collaborative-divorce/ 5 tips to survive divorce http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/5-tips-to-survive-divorce/ Divorce is painful. There are ways to make the process easier. Here are my top five tips:
<ol><li>Before you hire a lawyer, get up to speed on options outside of the Court model. Choices like mediation and collaborative divorce can reduce stress, time, and legal costs. Pick your process first, then hire your lawyer or mediator.</li>
<li>Recognize that emotions like fear, pain, guilt, anger exist. Use your support network to help manage the emotions so you can focus on the right issues during your settlement work.</li>
<li>Look forward. Focus your energy on building your new life and what you need to do to get there. </li>
<li>Be organized. Before you attend your first meeting, find out what information the mediator or lawyer will need and start pulling it together. </li>
<li>Recognize that change is difficult, especially for children. Watch carefully for hidden signs that your children are struggling with the changes and may need extra support. </li>
</ol> Fri, 24 Jun 2011 13:17:49 -0300 http://www.solutionsbeyondcourt.com/5-tips-to-survive-divorce/