Useful Tips

Taking a child centered approach to your family’s separation helps alleviate some of the negative consequences that comes with the changes that follow. ‘Child centered’ means that parents use strategies for communication and decision-making that is focused on the best interests of their children. They try their best to block out negative feelings towards an ex-partner (adult issues) and concentrate on how best to transition the children into the new routine. This approach recognizes that although the marital relationship has broken down, the parental relationship continues and that there is value with both parents being actively involved in the children’s lives. This is not always easy. Most couples are separating for various reasons – poor communication being one, but if parents frame their decisions and reactions in a child-centered approach, their way of handling things can improve. Children respond and react to stressful/uncertain situations. Children need to know what is happening to them and how their lives are changing (i.e., living situations, seeing each parent, school, etc.). They don’t need to know all the adult issues, just what is important to their lives. 

January is divorce season – typically more divorces happen during this month than any other month during the year. There are many resources and organizations that help educate parents on how to use a child-centered approach. One such group is National Child-Centered Divorce Month – which has now gone global and has reframed its focus to international education/resources. This transition is timely – International Child-Centered Divorce Month is teaming up with world wide experts to provide advice and insights on how to best support children during this transition.